Hidden emotions ~My journey through grief

Sometimes it's hard to understand the link to our emotions to how we project ourselves, behind these eyes are tears and behind my tears is a sense of emptiness and defeat that sometimes my emotions get the better of me, that weak moment behind closed doors I am broken, broken to the understanding that I could not save our daughter, but behind all of these emotions is a sense of calm, why? Because I am a mother, a mother to our son, and a mother to our beautiful angel Isabella, you never get over grief and please do not tell anyone you do, your whole life will change, there will not be a day that goes by without the thought of your most dearest loss, but there is light, light that shines on you and your family, light that makes you realise how precious life really is and light that brings you memories no matter how short of time you had with them. We are all in this together, let's all support each other in our dark hours and make memories in our light hours #supportgriefawareness #mothertoanangel #chdawareness #heartwarrior

Meeting with National Programme Director for Women and Infants’ Health

Well since we started our Isabella’s campaign to raise awareness of CHD and promote that all women in Ireland should be entitled to the 20 week screening, we’ve received continual support from many families who have travelled a similar path as myself and Kevin, I feel through our own pain like many others are going through, it helps to speak to those who know and feel the same heartbreak.

Reading peoples stories, some with happy endings and others with sad, it really has given me even more drive to push this as much as we can. I still remember writing all our memories of Isabella to try and keep her alive in us, and even though she was only here on earth for a short time she incredibly left her mark.

With the help of the media making our voices heard the HSE are now listening.

Since we gained a response from the Minister for Health Simon Harris I received an email from Kilian McGrane, who is the newly appointed ‘National Programme Director for Women and Infants’ Health and will be rolling out the programme to introduce the 20 week anomaly scan to all expectant mothers nationwide . Minister Simon Harris forwarded my email to Mr McGrane and asked for him to meet with me regarding our campaign for anomaly scanning.

  

In recent weeks Mr McGrane has contacted me and welcomed an opportunity to meet with me to discuss the important issues raised in my email to the Minister.

I will be meeting with Mr McGrane at Tralee University Hospital on Wednesday 22^nd February, he will also be joined with the recently appointed clinician, Dr Peter McKenna, who is the Clinical Lead for the Programme.

In the meeting I will be giving an insight from a parents perspective from our own personal journey and what we feel needs to be addressed, from the much needed scan to  also highlighting the lack of after care service to families whose baby passes away, specifically for parents and the siblings.

  

If you have had a similar experience or know someone who has and would like to raise any questions please feel free to contact me prior to my meeting and I will ensure your voice is heard.

I will keep you all updated, and I know Isabella will be with me.

Email: jazminesands@gmail.com

Mother to an angel 

The months after is when you need support the most

I know it has been a while since my last post, but I don’t want to just write every week, this is a real life journey and I only write when I feel it is the right time to share  my recent experiences I’ve had while living life after great loss.

Everyday life since losing Isabella has changed, small things you don’t notice during your daily routines all of a sudden becomes a big deal, at one point I felt every time I left the house all I would see is babies and baby stuff everywhere; my anxiety grew so much I just wanted to stay at home all the time, my house became my sanctuary for me, my haven, my own space to lock myself away from society, I would always say to myself, ‘how and when will I start to cope’.

(In recent months i’ve found grief is truly like the ocean, it comes in waves and sometimes can consume you when you least expect it, don’t fight your emotions, roll with them like those waves, the more you fight and hold back the worse you will feel to which point you may sink into the deep dark obis of depression.)

I wake up every day to my routines of life itself, then all of a sudden it just hits me that I lost my daughter and will never be able to hold her in my arms again, it really does consume me at different times of the day but I am still learning to remind myself of the fact we had the chance to look into her beautiful eyes, while she stared right back at us knowing that she was loved unconditionally, these thoughts are what keeps me looking forward.

The support we had after Isabella was born and when she grew her wings was just amazing, our close friends and family helped organise her burial and really showed so much love and light during a time of such darkness. The following weeks we had people calling to our house on a daily basis which kept us going but looking back now I can see that it hadn’t sunk in still, we were numb, in shock, I knew what had happened but I hadn’t processed the fact that we have lost our baby girl. I do think that if it wasn’t for Keelan I could have sunk much lower, but this is a point you feel you’re at a cross roads and must try your best to continue on and learn to live your life after such a loss. I remember so clearly waking up the following morning after our final goodbye, the sun was shining so bright through our curtains, we just laid there in silence, in a state of shock not knowing what to do with ourselves, the door bell rang constantly by people calling to us, and at the time I just wanted to be left alone, but I got up as I did not want to look weak and then dived into washing all our clothes from Dublin, I washed the same clothes 2 or 3 times just to keep myself busy, as crazy as it sounds thinking about it now I just wanted to feel human again, I was trying to imagine that I would be doing this if she was still there and asleep in her mosses basket, I just wanted to feel like a mother to a new born baby while trying to block out the pain in case I fell apart even though inside I was broken, empty and felt useless.

I have come to the realization that support is needed more than ever months after losing a loved one, most people would presume as months have passed you start to learn how to cope, as they say ‘time is a great healer’ which it is very true however, emotions would start to sink in during the later stages of grief, when your days quieter down and people stop calling as much, this is when you have more time to think to yourself about what has happened, this is the crucial time you will need support.

I am so thankful for my group of close friends who have been travelling this journey alongside me, who knows when I am having a bad day or week, who would call for a cup of tea to talk about everything and listen to me, or just sit there in silence with me just so I feel their company there with me, letting me know I am not alone. I feel it is very important to share this if you know someone who is currently grieving that support is very much needed when months have passed, whether it’s a call, a text or just passing through for tea anything just to show that someone is still thinking of you would mean the absolute world, I know this because it means everything to me and has helped me get through the dark days.

If you are the one going through the pain of loss you must keep talking and if you need someone to listen to you, you must pick up your phone or call to your friends or families house because talking is key to a healthy mind, remember it’s not getting over something like this it is learning to cope with it, this is what I have learned so far and still have so much to come. 

Thank you to my friends and family xoxox

Is it just coincidence or is our angel talking to us?

I am a big believer in life after death, I have been since I was a little girl through my own personal experiences, I think when someone close to you passes away you just have hope to have some kind of sign from them to let you know they are ok, but at the same time you do not want to drive yourself mad looking for it and be disappointed if you don’t see or hear from your loved one.

I am open about what I believe in and accept everyone has their own opinions about this topic but I wanted to write about this as I feel many people who has suffered loss always wonders if their loved ones are around them and some may even crave for some kind of sign which is exactly how I feel.

Only last week myself and Kevin were in our local Smyths store starting our Christmas shopping, we don’t get to do too many things with just ourselves as we are always busy so it was nice to have some quality time with just the two of us, as we waited in the queue with our hands full of prezzies I noticed this little girl skipping past me with long dark hair she was stunning, my heart melted and just smiled to myself trying to keep it together in front of Kevin and of course everyone else around me, it was when I heard her mother call her name ‘Isabella’.... I literally lost my breath from the pure shock of hearing her name, I looked directly at Kevin and his face just turn pure white, I wanted to drop everything and run, I could not believe it out of all the names we hear hers, I have never heard her name before as it is unusual which is why we choose it, why did we hear it, how was it that out of all of the places in the shop she said her name right in front of us, we walked out and tears were just pouring down my face feeling the pain of emptiness and realizing that we should be shopping for our 2 children and not one.

 As we drove back I thought to myself, what if this was meant to happen but to not upset us but as a message to let us know she is around us always, I suppose it is turning a negative situation into a positive and seeing things in a different light instead of darkness.

 During Isabella’s burial I asked one of my good friends to arrange a white dove to be released, I thought this could be a symbolic sign for her spirit to be released to the heavens above, my heart melted when she walked up towards us with a beautiful white basket, she opened it up and there the dove looked at us and then flew up into the sky, I looked up and noticed the sun breaking through the fluffy clouds as if an opening appeared welcoming our baby girl.

A few days past when Kevin’s brother said that he went to visit her grave and noticed a white butterfly on her cross, as soon as I heard I liked to think it was her letting him know she was still around, that very same week Kevin was in the garden and felt something on his hand, to his amazement it was a white butterfly, as he told me I could see in his face full of hope that it was a sign but I couldn’t help feel the emotion of jealously, why not me? Why as her mother have I not had a sign, I felt maybe I did do something wrong that I didn’t deserve it, but not long after she did said hello or so I like to believe. 

I remember it was the day of Bike Fest in Killarney, one of Kevins good friends arranged for him to have a tattoo to honor our Isabella which meant the world to Kevin, I remember I was sitting in the garden looking up in the sky waiting to leave, I looked across the garden and there the white butterfly flew across and over the fence, there it was my little sign, a tear ran down my cheek knowing in my heart she was letting me know she was around, that very same day my Nan called to check up on me I remember her words as clear as day, she said ‘ I am sitting here in the sun in my garden and I saw a beautiful white butterfly just came out of nowhere and flew right in front of me and it reminded me of our Isabella’  the phone went quite as I tried to process what my Nan just said to me, did I tell her? No I didn’t, out of anything that could have happened as a sign it was linked to a white butterfly, I then explained to her what has been happening and she said that it sounded like she wanted us to know she is always around.

I know this may sound out there, but isn’t it lovely to think something like this is symbolic, what is the harm in thinking this way? There is no harm in thinking or presuming this being linked but you would have to question is this just a coincidence? or is our little angel talking to us in her own little way, letting us know that she is still around us....well, I like to think it’s her, if you have a loved one and notice a sign, do not just ignore it and think you are just over thinking it, you should embrace it, believe it is a message from above saying hello, they are ok and they will always be around you..

Mother to an angel xx

The journey of a grieving mother

 

‘I am sorry but there is nothing we can do to save your daughter’ these are the words that constantly replay around in my head, visions of me holding her with her big beautiful eyes, remembering every single expression she done while here on earth, from the small lines on her forehead as she looked up at me, to her perfectly shaped little mouth that I used to stroke ever so gently. No one can comprehend the loss of your own child unless they have walked the same path, from witnessing her last breath and yet feeling totally helpless as a parent to save her, something that was my duty, a duty to protect a duty that goes beyond anything else, a duty I feel as a mother failed to do.

Since we found out we were expecting, I made sure that everything I was eating and drinking would benefit our baby, I didn’t smoke or drink, I ate more veg, fruit, salad and drank as much water as I could, I stayed at home most of the time but I was happy, happy to ensure that our baby was safe and everything was going to be perfect.

The day we travelled back to Kerry was the same day we laid our daughter to rest, that very same evening we walked into our house, I remember it was quiet, I walked upstairs and there in front of me was the door for her nursery, untouched, everything in place ready for her, I grabbed my stomach and all of a sudden I felt ‘emptiness’, despair, sadness, failure of a mother, I walked into her room, everything was perfectly placed, her cot, changing station, nappies and baby wipes stocked up, even a towel ready by the side for her first wash, I looked down at my hands and nothing was there only drops of my tears. I sat on the floor and cried so hard it hurt, clenching on her blanket so tight, I held it as if she was there, just trying to see if I could feel like how it should be, am I going mad? No, I just could not register that she was gone and I was to never see her again in this life.  I remember the curtains in her room were open, the stars were so bright that night, I walked to the window and felt a wave of calm that she was there with me watching me through the stars.

During her burial I felt I could not let my true emotion out, if I started to cry I was petrified that I would not stop, I would collapse and not get back up, I have this constant feeling that my body had failed my daughter, that it was my fault she is not here today, the least I could of done was be strong for her before she flew with the angles, just like she was strong for us by giving us time.

It has already been 5 months since we welcomed her here and my heart is still so raw, I feel so much fear as time goes on, as my memories of her become slightly more faded, the emptiness has grown even more while I am here at home, I should have lack of sleep, I should be making bottles and have washing so high I don’t know where to start, but as soon as Keelan has gone to school I am left in the house of silence ... I look around and feel deflated, I try and keep myself busy making sure the house is perfect, washing is done but I find myself looking at the time counting down the hours Keelan will be home, to see his smile again, tell me about his day work together on his homework, then its time to make the dinner, Kevin comes home talks about his day I clean up after dinner, chill out then bedtime and repeat all the above. Being at home alday is a constant reminder of someone precious that I do not have, go for a walk I say, it will do me some good, so I do I start to feel positive again, I am walking taking in the fresh air, I then look ahead and see a lady with a pram, my heart races every time, it’s not their fault but in my mind it brings back the constant reminder of my most biggest loss. 

The eagerness of wanting some normality is taking over, I want to get back into work I am ready and so the job search continues sending CV’s and not hearing back makes me feel even more worthless, the recent loss of my granddad who was such a large factor in my life overwhelms me, is my life ever going to give me a break? I know there is always someone else more worse off but this is my feelings, my emotions and my battle as an angel mum which I think many other angel mums could relate too. I envy those people who have their career, see and talk to different people every single day, I am doing everything I can to get back in to some normality but I have to keep reminding myself that things do take time, grief is a process and I am only at the beginning. I have Keelan to think about my son who is my world, so I must try and pick myself up again and so I am starting tonight by going for a long walk, I now want to focus on getting myself fit agian mind and body, i've got to do this, I will do this and any bumps along the way I will jump over them with pure determination.

This is only the beginning of my journey....

Mother to an angel xox

Our Wave of Light for Isabella and all angel babies worldwide

As today is International Babyloss Awareness day, we are taking part in the International Wave of Light this evening. As bereaved parents ourselves we join the many other parents of angels from all over the world in lighting a candle for all our angel babies who have changed our lives forever. Today we honour and remember our babies in heaven and let them know we are thinking of them always. Isabella is our daughter in the sky and we miss her so much, love you Isabella with all our hearts xox 

#isabellaschdawareness#internationalwaveoflight #waveoflight #nilmdtsireland #angelmum #isabella

International Wave Of Light

October pregnancy and infant loss awareness month
Light a candle on Saturday 15th October at 7pm to honour all angel babies  

As October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, we as angel parents are taking part in the 'International Wave of light' event and would like to invite all our friends, family and all those who have gained an angel baby or child. 

Lets shed some light to create awareness and support to those who have walked the same path as us of loosing a child, lets honor and remember our beautiful angels in heaven, please join us by lighting a candle tomorrow (Saturday 15th October) at 7pm (GMT) for at least one hour.

Join people worldwide to help create awareness by posting a picture of your light on your facebook page and share with us on our Isabella's campaign by clicking here and remember to include hashtags #internationalwaveoflight #waveoflight #angelbabies #nilmdts

Let us together send light to our angels 

Mother to an angel xox

Our meeting within the Dail with TD Louise O'Reily

To all our amazing supporters, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your kind messages we have recieved in the past few days. Our Isabella's journey has certainly caught much needed attention from all over the world regarding the current screening process of all expectant mothers nationwide here in Ireland.

I would like to announce that during this week we had a meeting with Louise O'reily TD who took her time to listen and express a mutual understanding with regards to the current issues raised and will be asking the Minister of Health Simon Harris to meet with us and to listen to our experiance and how we feel that every expecting mother should be given a detailed free screening during her pregancy, this will ensure that proper procedures can be put in place if any congenital defects were found.

We know we have a long journey ahead of us but our aim is to ensure that  there is a high level of standardised maternity care across Ireland.

We will keep  you updated and thank you  again and also thank you to Cllr Damian Quigg for setting up this meeting  and taking your time to meet with me.

Mother to an angel
Jazmine

Join 'Isabella's CHD Awareness & Pregnancy Screening Campaign' Group

Ok, so here we go, after an amazing but very busy week we have now finally launched our campaign page, so please share as much as possible, this is a public group and all is welcome to share your own personal stories to help drive our campaign, together lets help create awareness and promote better 'free' detailed screening for all expectant mothers nationwide.

Click here to join our campaign group.

A Poem For Our Isabella

Help Support Crumlin

Supporting #crumlin

Please help support #Crumlin because 'Every sick child deserves every chance'

I am selling raffle tickets to help raise money to rebuild Crumin's Nazareth ward where the tiniest and sickest babies are treated. This ward has helped care for babies like Zoe who was born at just 24 weeks old, amazingly she is now 19 months old and has defied the odds. The Nazareth ward is one of the oldest wards in Crumlin and is in serious need of an upgrade, and with our support we can be part of this journey to help Crumlin give the ultimate care to the most sickest of babies. From first hand experience we know the care and attention all the Crumlin staff give, and have been blown away from the support we continue to receive even after our Isabella grew her wings. I have just 32 tickets to sell each at just €3 or 2 for €5 all tickets are placed into a draw to win a brand new Ford Focus.  #mothertoanangel #crumlin #childrenshospital #raffle

Please feel free to contact me if you would like to purchase a raffle ticket to help Crumlin raise money for their Nazareth ward, I've already sold half the ticket's so make sure to get yours ASAP.
Email me on; jazminesands@gmail.com

Words for our angels

Let the questions begin 'How was Isabella's heart condition missed'?

Preparing for one of the hardest days but all for good reason and remaining focused for what our ultimate goal is..

July 14th 2016 

Big day tomorrow appointment at Tralee general to get some questions answered about why our Isabella's heart condition was not picked up and why does not every pregnant women receive a detailed scan during her pregancy to ensure that if anything is found, proper procedures are put in place. I will not rest until these are answered and I will not stop the fight for the right to ensure all babies are propley screened. I know it will be an emotional day and that's what I am preparing for but I will not rest until I know, no other parent will have to go through what we have and are still going through xx #chdawareness

One of the hardest days of my life to face into the answers we so dearly wanted 

July 15th 2016

Today was incredibly hard to walk the corridors I walked before heading to Dublin to be with our daughter, the emotions all came flooding back as I remember feeling so scared getting ready to set off and walk into the unknown. I kept my head held high as I knew I was doing this for a reason and that reason was to gain some closure and raise questions as to why and how her heart condition was not picked up.

I went to this meeting with no feeling of anger but a drive to make change within the maternity unit not just local but now nationwide. In our personal case her heart condition was overlooked, and yes it should have been picked up but there is clearly a lack of resource to do this to every patient who is expecting.

Our personal case is now going to be open for review by the unit and full cooperation with the hospital is very positive, I will be contacting all local TD's along with the Minister of Health to highlight this nationwide issue and address the fact that more funding is needed within maternity units to provide a high standard and to ensure proper screening to all women who are expecting.

I have also raised the issue regarding the lack of communication across all departments which can cause destress to patients such as public health nurses not being notified of death and call to arrange appointments as this happened in our case.

I made a promise that this is our mission to make change and our Isabella's short journey here on earth will help make this happen, she's a true angel, my inspiration, i strongly believe she was brought here to us for a reason and only honoured to be her mother. Love her and miss her so much but know she is always around us xxx #chdawareness #heartmummy#mothertoanangel

Jazmine
Mother to an Angel

Email to our local TD Micheal Healy-Rae

Below is the first point of contact I've had with our local TD and this is only the start to try and promote change within our maternity wards nationwide.

Dear Michael Healy-Rae

My name is Jazmine Sands and I have been in contact with your office in recent months since the passing of our baby daughter, Isabella Eileen Sheehan who passed away this year in May. I am writing to you with a heavy heart and with the greatest of hopes that you will hear our voice on behalf of ourselves and other parents who have had to endeavor such a tragic event.

Our story begins when we had our daughter on Monday 23^rd May all was well, or so we were told, she was born and we were told she will be coming home with us on that Friday, my son who suffers from ‘ADHD’ met her and could not be happier to be her big brother, however as the hours passed we were brought into a private room and our whole world came crumbling down around us. We were told that she had problems with her heart and that she had to be rushed to Crumlin, a place we never thought we would ever be in. As I had an emergency c-section I was unable to go with her in the ambulance so my partner had to follow in our car with no idea what we were walking into.

As Isabella was examined in Crumlin it took some time for the doctors to understand the full extent of her heart condition, and as my partner stood by her side I was left in Tralee General not knowing what was happening to my baby, a fear that no parent should have to go through. I made my own travel arrangements to Dublin on Wednesday 25^th May and joined our daughter who by this time was transferred to the ICU unit. It was not until the following day we learned of her condition. We met with our consultant Dr. Orla Franklin who explained that Isabella had ‘Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome’ along with other complications with her heart and said that her images had to been sent to Great Ormond Street in London, as she continued she told us that unfortunately as her heart was too bad that they could not offer her surgery and that we must let her pass away naturally. We could not understand how this could be true even when I had many scans during my pregnancy, and also being a high risk patient. How could anyone miss this? Especially when half of her left side of the heart was missing?

Once we tried to understand what was happening we had to explain to our son that his sister was not going to make it, and that she was to fly with the angels soon, we gave him an option to stay at home or come up and say his final goodbyes and to our amazement he chose to come and say goodbye to her as he wanted to be the best older brother possible, and so he along with other close friends and family members came to say hello and goodbye to our daughter. Isabella was truly loved within the small amount of time she had, Crumlin arranged her christening along with a private photographer that same evening. Myself and my partner spent her final hours that night alone with her, we did not let her see us cry, we acted as if nothing was wrong so she would remember our smiles only, until the moment the angels came for her while she laid peacefully on my chest, a moment all our hearts broke, a moment we will never forget as long as we live.

That very morning we were told we had to place her in her car seat to bring her home to Kerry, it broke my heart to see my partner walk out the hospital with our daughter in peace, people looking thinking we were the lucky ones to be bringing our child home, little did they know this was not the case. As we made that journey back down it came to me that I would never want any parent to have to go through such a horrific event. We feel that our Isabella was sent here for a reason, and that reason was to raise awareness, not only for ‘Congenital Heart Disease’ which is ever increasing, but also for the lack of resources maternity units actually have within hospitals.

My question is - how could such a diagnosis be missed? If Isabella could have been saved, she could have died on her way to Crumlin because this was not picked up and the correct resources were not put in place upon birth, it is 2016 by now this should not be an issue to raise, these are our children, are future and they are being neglected by the health service as women are not being properly screened during their pregnancies.

I know the one question which would be asked to me and that is ‘what would of made a difference if we would of known’, and the one simple answer is ‘preparation’, we would of prepared our son to what we would of been walking into, we would not of had baby bottles by the kettle as we walked into the house after her burial, yes the heartache would of still been there but every parent has the right to know what they are facing into for their own sanity. This has caused us emotional damage as parents to understand in one hand she was born healthy, to another that she would not make it.

Congenital heart disease is on the rise, this is not a heredity condition, this is simply caused by a miss communication during the very early stages of pregnancy, which brings me back to the fact every women should be entitled to a free detailed scan by a professional.

I have met with my consultant within the hospital who did confirm that yes the hospital should have picked her heart condition up, however she further explained that the maternity ward does not have the correct resources in doing so and that if such a condition exist that the women must give birth in Dublin.

Isabella’s case in up for review within the hospital to see if possible changes can be made in the future. This is a nationwide issue which must be identified by the health service immediately in order to ensure that our babies, who are our future, are being looked after.

We want to also address that we are not in the process of taking legal action, and do not plan to in the future, we want to work alongside the health service and be a voice for all parents who have experienced a similar heart breaking event.

Our darling daughter Isabella gave us the most precious gift of all and that gift was time and to that we are truly grateful, through this journey she has taught us so much and we know in our hearts her story can help make a change.

Please do not hesitate to contact me anytime to discuss this further, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards

Jazmine Sands

Reply from Micheal Healy-Rae

Dear Jazmine

I have read your email and it saddens me to think of what your family have gone through in the past few months

I will of course raise this very important issue in the Dail when we resume in the end of Sept and in the meantime feel free to contact me any time if I can assist you in any other way.

Regards

Micheal Healy-Rae

My reply to Micheal Healy -Rae

Dear Michael

Thank you very much for your fast response as I know you are very busy, we truly appreciate that you read our email and that you will raise this issue within the Dail on our behalf as this is a major issue that needs to be recognized urgently. Please feel free to use our story as Isabella has touched so many hearts already and we honestly feel she may help with this ongoing situation. 

Our main goal is to have fully trained stuff to scan the babies heart by the 20th week (a detailed scan), and to raise more awareness for 'Congenital Heart Disease' which is not related to genes, which means heart conditions does not need to be within the families history for the baby to be at risk.

The heart is such a vital part of our body that it should be properly screened so if there is issues present all resources are put in place upon birth. In my mind throughout the pregnancy a designated list of all vital organs should be screened by a professional and signed off, this would eliminate to an extent emergency scenarios upon birth and give the baby more of a chance of survival as there would be time to prepare the resources needed if there was ever anything found. 

I was told that there is currently no one within Tralee that would be able to identify issues with the heart as it is so complex, I have suggested if this is the case can they not send scans to Dublin for sign off? as you can imagine this is a worrying finding. Why does Kerry not have someone who can scan the heart and would also lead to the next question, how qualified are the staff for scanning our babies as Isabella's heart condition was missed. 

There is obviously so much to try and understand what the hospital needs in order to have better screening put in place for our babies and to understand their maternity procedures, again we would like to work alongside the hospital and not against it. I would be more then willing to help drive this campaign to make change so please do not hesitate to contact me if you need my voice from a real life story, 

If you have any recommendations in what I could perhaps do in the meantime, such as publicity then please feel free to advise me as I want to do as much as I can. 

Thank you so much again. 

Kind regards

Jazmine Sands