Saturday, 12 November 2016

Is it just coincidence or is our angel talking to us?

I am a big believer in life after death, I have been since I was a little girl through my own personal experiences, I think when someone close to you passes away you just have hope to have some kind of sign from them to let you know they are ok, but at the same time you do not want to drive yourself mad looking for it and be disappointed if you don’t see or hear from your loved one.

I am open about what I believe in and accept everyone has their own opinions about this topic but I wanted to write about this as I feel many people who has suffered loss always wonders if their loved ones are around them and some may even crave for some kind of sign which is exactly how I feel.

Only last week myself and Kevin were in our local Smyths store starting our Christmas shopping, we don’t get to do too many things with just ourselves as we are always busy so it was nice to have some quality time with just the two of us, as we waited in the queue with our hands full of prezzies I noticed this little girl skipping past me with long dark hair she was stunning, my heart melted and just smiled to myself trying to keep it together in front of Kevin and of course everyone else around me, it was when I heard her mother call her name ‘Isabella’.... I literally lost my breath from the pure shock of hearing her name, I looked directly at Kevin and his face just turn pure white, I wanted to drop everything and run, I could not believe it out of all the names we hear hers, I have never heard her name before as it is unusual which is why we choose it, why did we hear it, how was it that out of all of the places in the shop she said her name right in front of us, we walked out and tears were just pouring down my face feeling the pain of emptiness and realizing that we should be shopping for our 2 children and not one.

 As we drove back I thought to myself, what if this was meant to happen but to not upset us but as a message to let us know she is around us always, I suppose it is turning a negative situation into a positive and seeing things in a different light instead of darkness.

 During Isabella’s burial I asked one of my good friends to arrange a white dove to be released, I thought this could be a symbolic sign for her spirit to be released to the heavens above, my heart melted when she walked up towards us with a beautiful white basket, she opened it up and there the dove looked at us and then flew up into the sky, I looked up and noticed the sun breaking through the fluffy clouds as if an opening appeared welcoming our baby girl.

A few days past when Kevin’s brother said that he went to visit her grave and noticed a white butterfly on her cross, as soon as I heard I liked to think it was her letting him know she was still around, that very same week Kevin was in the garden and felt something on his hand, to his amazement it was a white butterfly, as he told me I could see in his face full of hope that it was a sign but I couldn’t help feel the emotion of jealously, why not me? Why as her mother have I not had a sign, I felt maybe I did do something wrong that I didn’t deserve it, but not long after she did said hello or so I like to believe. 

I remember it was the day of Bike Fest in Killarney, one of Kevins good friends arranged for him to have a tattoo to honor our Isabella which meant the world to Kevin, I remember I was sitting in the garden looking up in the sky waiting to leave, I looked across the garden and there the white butterfly flew across and over the fence, there it was my little sign, a tear ran down my cheek knowing in my heart she was letting me know she was around, that very same day my Nan called to check up on me I remember her words as clear as day, she said ‘ I am sitting here in the sun in my garden and I saw a beautiful white butterfly just came out of nowhere and flew right in front of me and it reminded me of our Isabella’  the phone went quite as I tried to process what my Nan just said to me, did I tell her? No I didn’t, out of anything that could have happened as a sign it was linked to a white butterfly, I then explained to her what has been happening and she said that it sounded like she wanted us to know she is always around.

I know this may sound out there, but isn’t it lovely to think something like this is symbolic, what is the harm in thinking this way? There is no harm in thinking or presuming this being linked but you would have to question is this just a coincidence? or is our little angel talking to us in her own little way, letting us know that she is still around us....well, I like to think it’s her, if you have a loved one and notice a sign, do not just ignore it and think you are just over thinking it, you should embrace it, believe it is a message from above saying hello, they are ok and they will always be around you..

Mother to an angel xx

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